What's Keeping Me Alive
by Kickin Taylor
Summary: "I tried killing myself too." Jack whispered. "I tried tried to kill myself in the dojo shower. You know, bleed out." he told her. - Kim finds out her Father was Killed on her birthday and runs away. Jack finds her trying to Kill herself and has to remind her, she's not alone - Soldier Family appreciation - ONE-SHOT


"Has anyone seen Kim?" Jack questioned.

"We figured she was with you." Milton replied.

"No, she wasn't in class. Which epically stinks because I made her a birthday cake." Jack pouted.

"What a great boyfriend you are." Eddie joked.

"HaHa." Jack pity laughed. "But she's not my girlfriend."

"You never made us a cake on our birthday." Jerry complained.

"Well here." Jack pushed the pink Box into his hands. "Take it."

"Swag!" Jerry sang opening the box and licking the frosting off the top.

"Come on guys, Rudy is waiting for us at the dojo." Milton said rolling his eyes.

"You guys go. I'll meet you there." Jack assured them. "I'm going to look for Kim."

"Jack, she's probably just spending some time with her family. Like, a Sweet Sixteen kind of thing." Eddie told him.

"Yeah, stop worrying." Jerry told him. Sadly, his mouth was stuffed with red velvet cake so it sounded more like- " Ya ddhnbshsd."

"She would have texted me back." Jack told them, picking up his knapsack.

"Her phone probably died." Milton defended.

"Kim's?" I questioned buckling my helmet. "Yeah, right."

"Why try?" Eddie asked. "He's going to look for her either way."

Jack winked cheekily at them.

"Later." He said, skating out of the school.

Jack skated towards Kim's house thinking that the guys were probably right. She probably is spending time with her mom and sister. Maybe her dad came in from Afghanistan.

About two minutes later, Jack arrived at Kim's house and knocked at the door.

It took a minute but her mom answered the door. Eyes red and puffy.

"Jack, thank goodness. Is Kim with you?" She asked.

"No, that's why I'm here." Jack replied worried.

"Jacky!" A little girl called from being the door. Also known as, Jennifer

Crawford.

"Hey Jen." Jack said to the four year old who ran to give him a hug. He picked

her up and spun her around.

"where's Kim?" She questioned.

"I'm going to find her right now." Jack said, putting her down.

"Whens the last time you saw her?" He asked Kims mom.

"This morning she ran off." She said not giving jack Any detail.

"what are you not telling me?" Jack realized.

"Jack I've told you what I could. After that, It's up to Kim if she wants to tell you." She replied closing the door.

Jack sighed.

Where should he look first?

Jack began to search for his favorite blond.

Every place she wasn't, he would get more worried.

It started getting late and close to his curfew. Mrs. Crawford had called a

couple of times to see if he had found her and he had disappointed her time an

time again.

He continuously called Kim's phone it's as if she didn't want to be found.

Where would Kim go if she wanted to be alone?

"Dah!" Jack yelled at himself.

The forest.

She always goes there. The place where there had almost been a skatepark. He

quickly rode there, hoping he would find Kim there and when he got there. He didn't

see her sitting on the log like he had expected to.

He looked around the area and could find her- until he looked up.

Jack saw a blond with a rope in hand. Tying it around her neck.

Was she going to..?

She wouldn't.

Would she?

"Kim!" Jack called. "Dont do it!" he yelled.

All she did was wave at him sadly before starting to dangle herself of the

tree.

"No!" he yelled. Dropping his knapsack on the ground and grabbing his pocket-knife from the front compartment. Thankful, he forgot to return it to Eddie that, like he was asked to.

Jack began running to climb the tree. Or, as Rudy would call it, the "widow maker."

"Kim stop!" He begged climbing.

But it was to late.

The sounds of his angle chocking were the only sounds that could be heard in the clearing.

He knew he had to hurry before she got brain damage- or worse, before she died.

Adrenalin pumped threw his veins that caused him to climb faster then humanly possible.

He made it next to the girl and pulled the pocket knife out of this back pocket.

He lifted her up by her arms and cut the rope as she was silently crying.

He took it from around her neck as she gasped. Jack pulled her close and wiped away his own tears, alone with hers.

"It's okay." he said hugging her. "Your okay."

She pushed him away.

"Why did you do that?" She yelled at jack, crying.

"It could have been over by now!" she cried into his shoulder. He held her.

"Why?" he whispered. She just continued to cry.

"Kim, I need to get you to a doctor." He whispered.

"No! It's over jack!" She yelled pushing away from Jack and attempting jumping from the tree. Jack grabbed her hand.

"Stop it Kim!" he begged, pulling her back up an cradling her like a baby.

"what happened to you?" He asked her.

"Nothing! Because of you!" She yelled at him. Jack used one arm to restricted her from moving and the other to climb down.

Kim's stuff lay in a pile at the bottom if the tree.

Jack put Kim down and picked up her bag. A paper fell from the side.

"What's this?" he whispered.

"The reason I'm here." She cried, hugging herself.

I read the letter to myself.

_Kim, _

_If your reading this, I must be dead. I'm sorry for breaking my promise to stay. _

_I love you very much, just like I love your mom and sister. I wish I could be _

_there with you right now. _

_I'm sorry._

_Daddy _

Jack looked at Kim who was hugging her knees. She handing him another letter as

he came to sit next to her.

_Dear Crawford family,_

_It brings me great sadness to have to present you with the news about the death of my _

_fellow soldier._

_Jason Crawford._

_I hope you take this letter and always remember that your father/ husband is an _

_American hero._

_General fox_

Jack looked at her.

She was rocking back and forth.

Continuously glancing at Jack's pocket knife.

Jack closed it and stuffed it at the bottom of his bag.

"He has a problem, it doesn't mean you should." Jack told her.

She just cried into him and screamed.

" I want to be with him!"

"No you don't!" He yelled back looking into the distance.

She hit him.

"I knew you wouldn't understand." she yelled repeatedly hitting him. He just let her abuse him. "You have no idea what it feels like!"

Jack was quiet for a moment, getting ready to talk about something, he hoped to forget.

"Abandoned." he sighed.

"betrayed."

Kim looked up at him.

"Like someone literally tore your heart out and you'll never love again." he whispered.

"How- how did you know that?" she asked.

"Kim, my dad was also killed in war. I got that letter Three months ago." he told her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She wondered. Jack had lived in seaford for almost four years already.

"I could ask you the same thing." Jack told her sharply.

She hid her face and it was silent for a minute.

"I tried killing myself too." Jack whispered.

"When?" she asked.

"I stayed late at the dojo one night." Jack sighed not wanting at talk about it.

But if it would save Kim, he would tell her anything. He picked up his sleeve to

reveal a long dark cut along his wrist.

"I tried tried to kill myself in the dojo shower. You know, bleed out." he told

her.

She took his arm and ran her finger over the cut.

"What stopped you?"

"Rudy." he sighed. "He caught me, because my mom called him to see if I was

there. So he came to check in me.I passed out from blood loss. He rushed me to the hospital. I was in nothing

but a towel." Jack chuckled. "He was so angry and scared."

"Rudy knew?" Kim checked.

Jack nodded.

"Why didn't you try again?" she questioned.

"Something Rudy yelled at me when I woke up." he whispered. Kim continued to look at

him.

"You didn't live only for your dad." Jack began quoting. "He

said, remember everyone else in your life. What if the warriors found out you were dead? Or your mom? It may feel like you will never love, but remember Kim. You love her." Jack told Kim with a small blush.

"You kept me alive Kim."

Kim hugged him.

"I can't imagine you dead." Kim cried.

"Don't hurt yourself Kim, please. I know that every year, I'll feel the same way on September 13th that i felt the first time that first time I got that letter. I'll remember what Rudy told me. I'll spend that day with Rudy every year because he the only one who knows about the death stuff. He reminds me who I live for. " Jack said glancing at the blond with a small smile. "And now, i could also spend it with you."

Kim smiled back slightly and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Your Mom doesn't know?" she checked.

"No. Rudy promised not to tell of I promised not to try it again. And I'm willing to make the same promise with you."

Kim nodded.

"Kim, I love you," Jack said. "and I bet you want to stop talking about it

right now but you need to know. When you feel like you want it all to end, you

don't. It's an impulse, it's not real."

He took her in his arms and shook her.

"Your not the only one who's been through this. It Happens Everyday! Your not alone!" He reminded her, shaking her.

Kim kissed him hard. She needed too. She needed to feel a man in her life that

loved her. She had no brothers and no father, she needed Jack.

He pulled her close and kissed her back.

"You know," Jack began. " Your birthday isn't over yet and falafel phill's

doesn't close for another hour. Want to grab some?"

Kim smiled slightly and nodded yes.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her up as we began walking.

People die everyday,

Kids, everywhere wake up and find that their parents aren't coming home.

Parent, find out their kids aren't coming.

War is a scary thing and a person might not know how to deal with that pain of emptiness.

Remind them who they live for.

Remind them that they aren't alone.


End file.
